Okay...I think I've held my peace long enough.
It's no surprise that gender-biases are alive and well. But restaurants (and restaurant writing!) are among the few arenas where these societal expectations are as glaringly demonstrable as they are widely accepted. Who would have thought that the mundane act of eating--nay, ordering--would be so loaded and closely observed?
I can accept that most folks will look me over and expect me to order a mimosa, a salad, maybe something involving white-meat chicken. What I have more difficulty accepting are fanfare, incredulousness, or vague disbelief when I fail to do so.
Then one morning, I open the paper to read that my bone-gnawing choices are "in". "Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye" cheers the NYT. I no longer have to live a life of shame! Ordering steak is apparently a "declarative statement", and "ordering a salad displays an unappealing mousiness".
Sigh. Be yourselves girls...we're just watching, judging, and designing wussified restaurants around whatever you choose to shove in your craw.
Is it too much to ask that those who want to eat salad can eat salad, and those who love red meat eat meat, without public critique or close reading? Did they HAVE to tether food into the already overwrought process of husband-harpooning? Won't a sudden change of diet come as an unnecessary surprise to whatever man has managed to overcome the hurdles of the first few dates?
Don't worry, lady carnivores aren't off the hook yet. The VP of Smith & Wollensky is "shocked at the number of women actually ordering steak." At a steakhouse, mind you. HIS steakhouse.
It seems funny to bring up menu feminization and marvel at this generation of bloodthirsty, beef-eating women in the same breath. The NYT isn't the only one pulling this trick: the Telegraph called women the "new steakhouse demographic" on one page and THEN told the story of feather-clad Lillie Langtry suing for her right to eat mutton in 1905 on the next page.
Whose idea was it to make women steak-eaters circus freaks? Who benefits from this perception, except maybe men who are hording the ethanol-curtailed prime beef stocks for themselves?
I can't tell you how many times a runner or waiter has plunked down my order in front of my male companion, even if they themselves took the damn order from my mouth. Here's a list of catalysts for these mix-ups:
1. Brown liquor: Bourbon, Scotch, or cocktail variation thereof (i.e. a Manhattan, an Old-Fashioned). Clear liquors tiptoe into this arena if ordered in stiff proportions (i.e. anything "up" or "neat"), as do pints of heavier ales ordered in succession.
2. Beef: Any dripping, vulgar form (whole or ground), particularly when you're talking about servings larger than 8 ounces. For some reason, lamb and porcine orders are treated in a more egalitarian fashion, so long as the portions do not exceed the aforementioned 8 ounces.
3. Offal: Just WAITING for folks to estrogenize this one--tell me, are thymus glands considered "feminine"? Whadda about tripe? These tasty bits do tend to be pale, and in smaller portions to mitigate their richness. How about bone marrow? Is it hemoglobin that makes a food masculine?
4. Sausages: These always inspire surprise and/or unimaginative softcore porn. Kielbasas aren't just for hackneyed peep shows.
5. Awkward protein cuts, non-offal: This means shanks, ribs, turkey legs, chicken wings, whole crabs--things that usually include exoskeleton or bone, and are unavoidably (and deliciously!) hands-on, bib-on, face-painting.
6. Raw proteins, non-sushi: Beef or lamb tartare (but not carpaccio, as paper-thin presentations make raw red meat acceptably feminine), oysters or clams when more than a dozen are ordered, spicy Korean-style raw crabs (lump, legs, AND tomalley) which brings us to the next item...
7. Anything ordered Spicy: Luckily, this comes up more at Asian/South Asian restaurants, where it's likely you'll be served by a no-nonsense woman who won't give you flack about how you like your vindaloo, soondooboo, tom yum or mabo tofu.
8. All-You-Can-Eat or "Bottomless": For any of the items listed above--strangely, AYCE is widely accepted female undertaking if you're talking about soup, salad, and breadsticks (nary a man in the Olive Garden "Lunch Special" commercials).
I'm sure none of this comes as news to anyone...so why is it in the news at all, and positioned as a surprise, or worse yet, a fresh marketing angle? The presence of fondue or fish is not what I look for when I'm trawling for steakhouses, and the chain of new "female-friendly" joints are only relevant to me insofar as they concentrate on carrying and serving great beef.
The only thing that perhaps HAS changed about the relationship between women and "masculine foods" is that nowadays, women don't need to use men as an excuse or a lead-in to eat them. There's no dearth of financially independent women in New York who don't mind spending a little extra on the best of creature comforts; invariably, this will include a Scotch and a bone-in ribeye, sans man. (Boa optional.)
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More Beef:
http://events.nytimes.com/2007/02/28/dining/reviews/28rest.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/23/dining/23beef.html
http://www.nysun.com/article/60032
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9905E3DC1730F931A2575BC0A9619C8B63
Your blog was passed to me through my sister. I just want to send a thought of encouragement. You go girl! God gives us our talents to share. So, thanks for sharing!!
Posted by: Honeybee | November 21, 2007 at 08:57 PM