An Effing Foodie

The Battle for Middle Pork is Far From Over: Cider-Brined Pork Chops with Sautéed Apples, Onions and Sage

These are the voyages...of the Pork Chop Enterprise...DAAAA-DA-DUMMMM....

“I don’t have pet peeves,” he said, correcting the interviewer. And with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he added, “I have major, psychotic hatreds.”
        -the late George Carlin, (via the NYT)

A minor psychotic hatred of mine was recently inflamed in the Meat Department of Stew Leonard’s.

Who, I fumed, will pay prime prices for a steak in the shape of a 3-ring binder??? WHOOO???

Of course, as I was thinking this, sleep-deprived mommies and hungry bachelors were edging around me, trying to get at my “reject” stack of cellophaned, lopsided meat.

Ushering my shopping-cart-pushing Man away from the misshapen beef (and similarly ill-fated lamb...CURSES!), we took stock of the Other White Meat selection.

Luckily, the pork didn’t suffer the same madman with a hacksaw, so into our cart went 4 evenly butchered, bone-in pork chops.  As we navigated through the one-track maze that is Stew’s, I pondered brining possibilities; I knew I had a 6-pack of hard cider in the fridge, and it seemed as good a place to start as any.

What the "R" Rule Means to You and Oyster Stew

I was recently perched at Lelabar for a friend's birthday (great place, by the way, with a fun selection of chocolates and cheese) when I spied their raw bar, brimming with ice and oysters.  I steepled my fingertips in anticipation...

...and then remembered it was June.

Cartoons aren't the best place to pick up a basic understanding of physics, but they're not bad for occasional gustatory guidelines. (Those in a hurry, skip to 2:05.)

I don't subscribe to all oldsy-timesy rules about food, and many have argued that the "R-in-the-month" rule is a bogus holdover from European oyster eaters. 

Unfortunately, through rigorous trial, error, and expense on my part, the old "R" rule has been proven true enough--a May/June/July/August oyster won't kill you, but they just plain taste better when the water is cold. 

Which SUCKS, since cold seafood seems more appropo in the summer, and it's not like those suboptimal oysters get cheaper when it's warm out.

Why, you ask?  Well, summertime is lovin' time for oysters, and the energy that would generally go into building fat reserves goes into spawning instead.  So what you're left with is a skinnier, waterier oyster that's basically in heat. Yum.

And if it's Gulf Oysters you're eating, it's recommended that you cook them from April to October, tacking an extra 3 months to the "R" rule.

Bivalve devotees need not fret--raw June oysters may leave a gal wanting, but they're perfectly suited to Oyster Stew.

Check out this particularly bacon-studded specimen at Seymour Burton:

Since this one's got potatoes and the aforementioned swine in it, it's technically an Oyster Chowder.  But it was very old-school oyster-stewish in spirit; not thickened at all, with cream-based broth more warm than hot, so's not to assault the gently-cooked oysters.

Well, Hellooo Salmonella Saintpaul: Watch Yer Tomatoes!

CORRECTION, 7/30/08: Well...the FDA has made a fine mess of this, neither able to confirm or deny the culpability of tomatoes, and has moved onto blaming jalapeños grown in Mexico.

I don't know about you, readers, but for me, beautiful, suggestive tomaters are on a short list of valid reasons to suffer an East Coast summer.

So when someone says "salmonella", I seriously contemplate squatting on a beach in Hawaii until September.

Yes folks, there's been another large-scale outbreak of salmonella poisonings, related to the consumption of raw red round tomatoes, roma tomatoes, and plum tomatoes.  The vermin in question bears the holy name Salmonella saintpaul, and has managed to hospitalize 23 so far (via US News & World Report).

Florida, responsible for producing 90% of the nation's tomato crop this time of year, stands to loose a $40 million dollar crop as it awaits inspections clearance from the FDA (via Reuters). 

California tomatoes have already been cleared, as 80% of the state's tomato crop is shouldered by the CA Tomato Cooperative--i.e., smaller farms, smaller batches, with higher standards and tighter control of handling safety and crop freshness (via Mercury News). 

Other safe tomato states/countries include Alabama, Arkansas, California, Georgia, Hawaii, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, New York, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, West Virginia, Belgium, Canada, the Dominican Republic, Guatemala, Israel, the Netherlands and Puerto Rico (via US News & World Report; they listed Texas here, but that state seems to be in conflict with other news outlets).

The confirmed cases of poisoning are reportedly centered in Texas and New Mexico, but also extend to Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Oklahoma, Oregon, Utah, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin (via NBC 25 and SF Chronicle).

The big boys are sucking it up and rejecting tomatoes to keep fast food junkies safe; so far McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Burger King, Kroger, Outback Steakhouse, Winn-Dixie, Trader Joe's, Giant Eagle and Taco Bell are participating in the recall (via CBS News).

Welcome Back, Jimmy's No. 43!

Starting at Top Left, Clockwise: Cheese Platter
with Lazy Lady Farm Big Bang (left) and Mimolette;
Mizuna Salad with Apples, Walnuts and Ricotta;
Omelette with Sheep's Milk Yogurt and Radish Sprouts;
Roasted Shishito Peppers with Sea Salt.

PHEW!  After being shut down by the Buildings Department for a hand-wringing week-and-some, I'm happy to hear that Jimmy's No. 43 has reopened, as of last Friday!

(YES, a little slow on the news I am, but glad nonetheless!)

Please folks, go on down and show Jimmy's how much we heart them, need them, and could not live without them! 

A Few Reasons Why You Should be at Jimmy's:

1. They're suds-savvy AND foodie-friendly.
2. Let's face it, they're conveniently located in the nexus of your drinking warzone.
3. They sport the Snail of Approval from Slow Food.
4. The knowledgeable staff and regular events are geared toward educating beer knaves (like myself!).
5. They're keen on unpushy hospitality.

Their menu rotates every day, so no crying if you've got something specific in mind.