A lucky gal was I, catching up with the newly transplanted Big-Eyed Curvy Bombshell and her serious-eater ex-roommates from Brooklyn, Dos Mattys (yep, that's two guys named Matt), in the reeediculously warmer climes of Maryland/DC.
I'm not sure I'd ever live in DC, but I've got much love for their vittles. The dirty secret is, the Washingtonian passel of fratboys and sourpussed WASPs eat really well, often times at a much better value than we do up north.
Though Dos Mattys and I were there only 48 hours, any visit four foodies deep is bound by an unspoken pact of gluttony, and we were all too happy to comply as Bombshell hurtled us through her short-but-sweet wonderland of DC taste sensations. (Good LORD, how I miss her!)
Nothin' says "reunion" quite the way oysters do, so in oysters we trusted at Hank's Oyster Bar, in the rarefied/quaint 'hood of Old Alexandria.
And here's where I got a little puzzled. It was a gorgeous Sunday, warm enough so that people were busting out their sandals and sundresses...yet every person we passed on the street had nothing less than scowls on their faces. What the HELL, Washingtonians? Blossoms! Sunshine! The goddamned cherry Porsche convertible you're showing off for the first time this year!
People think NYers are the meanest, baby-eatingest buttholes in the US, but yer average New Yorker on the street has a jaded, neutral-to-laughing-at-a-private-joke smile on their face when walking. And on a glorious spring day--fuggedaboutit, we're all FN grinning like fools.
But when we walked into Hank's, and waited...and waited...and waited for our table, standing crammed into the non-existent foyer, you'd think we'd brought the plague to the other guests. Way to make NY look friendly, DC!
Anyway, when they finally got 'round to parking us, braving the icy stares of dead-inside-DCers was well worth it:
Lobster ROOOOOLLL! Drool. Had by Bombshell and Mild Matty (the other Matty has a penchant for hot sauce and curry, but this one...not so much), this was a fine specimen, not too heavy on the mayo and crammed into a liberally buttered, griddled hot dog bun.
These lovely crab cakes were Spicy Matty's, and though they did not exist on the sandwich-heavy brunch menu, our waiter was happy to accommodate Spicy Matty's wish to be unencumbered by bread. They were minimally bound, golden-crunchy patties of briny crab-as-puck. Seafood this good goes mighty quick when there's no pesky exoskeleton to slow you down.
As various forms of shelled crustacean disappeared around me, I tucked into my own deep-fried, craggy treat:
Awwwwwww. Yeah. 'Twas billed as an Oyster 'Po Boy, something that folks from Louisiana might take issue with, seeing as how these giant fried oysters were poked into the same grilled hot dog bun that the lobster roll comes in...but who cares??? The outsized oysters were fried to perfection, melding well with the watercress, schmear of mayo, and butter-bathed bread. As Mild Matty would say...it was FILTH. It was all I ever wanted out of cooked-mollusk-kind.
We also had giant Bloody Marys, a mixed platter of oysters to start (Sea candy! Whose specifics I do not recall! DOH!) and a killer key lime pie for dessert...all of which I neglected to photograph. Mea culpa, all! But if you get a chance, please do get some of that pie, it was a creamy-tart balm on our taut tummies, and the graham cracker crust was a fall-apart dream.
Many, many thanks to Momma Bombshell for this fab treat, and for taking us into her home!
Soon to come: Dindin with The Bombshell and Dos Mattys at Founding Farmers!
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Hank's Oyster Bar
1026 King Street
Alexandria VA 22314
703-739-HANK (4265)
also at:
1624 Q Street, NW
Washington DC, 20009
202-462-HANK (4265)
Hours:
ALEXANDRIA, VA
Monday - Closed
Tuesday - Thursday 5:30 - 9:30pm
Friday - 11:30 - 10:30pm
Saturday - 11:00 - 10:30pm
Sunday - 11:00 - 9:30pm
WASHINGTON DC
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday 5:30 - 10:00pm
Wednesday & Thursday 5:30 - 11pm
Friday & Saturday 5:30 - 11pm
Saturday & Sunday Brunch 11am - 3:00pm
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