An Effing Foodie

Sushi is As Sushi Does: Coeds Cram Panda Rolls into Sushi Chef Gender Gap

Nadeshico Sushi restaurant in Tokyo is filling a long-standing gender gap with panda bear and frog face maki, crafted by the first-ever all female sushi chef lineup (WSJ, via VV).

Sort of. They get the guys to do all the icky stuff.

The whole article's a real leg-slapper, but can be best summed up with this gem of a title:  

Hot Women Serving Cold Fish Make for Raw Feelings in Tokyo: Japan's First Sushi Restaurant Staffed by Female Chefs Has Traditionalists Carping.

Google "hot women", "cold fish", "raw feelings in Tokyo" and "first sushi" with your Safe Search turned off. I double dog dare you. I carp you.

In fact, skip ALL of that and just search "Nadeshico", the restaurant's namesake (translates literally to "ideal woman"). NSFW.

The centuries-old official line regarding gender disparity in sushi chefdom is that women have naturally warmer hands than men, which is detrimental to the handling of spanking-fresh raw fish. On top of that, wimmen are covered in girly sh*t, like perfume and cosmetics, that could effect the purity of the fish.

Things that also effect the purity of fish: Being black, white, Latin, non-Japanese Asian or any mix thereof. They also hate kittens, gays, big people, little people, cripples, vampires, zombies, the homeless and Bieber fans. Oh, and chicks over 25:

Kazuya Nishikiori, the middle-aged owner of Nadeshico, says he wanted to create a new model for working women in Japan. But he later explains he'll only hire women who are between the ages of 18 and 25 to work behind the counter. "After all, our slogan is 'fresh and kawaii,"' he explains, invoking the ubiquitous word for "cute." "If someone wanted to work here and was 30, I'd put her in the back."  [WSJ]

This culinary tour de force is "one floor below the massage parlor that promises 'total relaxation'" in the Akihabara district, the tech geek wonderland rife with maid cafes and pillow girlfriends.

On the upside, if the fish-eating pervs are all in one spot, they'll be easier to avoid.

People, for the love of God, don't blame pandas. Or cosplay. They can be used for the forces of good.

Takin' Back Bitch, Gender or Kitchen Notwithstanding

I'll start off with my hands up: I'm not married, don't have kids, and therefore do not have any logged hours with which to provide insight on gender-based roles and balance in a functioning marriage.

Maybe that's why I was so puzzled when I read Hanna Rosin's article, The Rise of the Kitchen Bitch.  (And yet MORE puzzled upon hearing about a new magazine in Germany angled specifically at Man-Foodies, titled: BEEF! EmPHAsis theirs.)

Kitchen gender politics have always been contentious and highly subjective.  A person's place in a kitchen has got zilch to do with gender roles.  It's all about personality.  Whether you're a wizened Punjabi matriarch or a Tennessee pitmaster, if you're a Type-A with any kind of confidence and know-now, you're going to dominate a kitchen.  Period. 

If you're in a long-term relationship/marriage, SOMEone is going to be in the kitchen more than the other.  It's as unkind and counterproductive to call your husband a bitch for ruling the kitchen as it would be if he stormed in and demanded a hot dinner. 

Rosin seems to be saying that home kitchen dominatrix is a pre-established role that women have been robbed of--that if her husband was the kitchen beta and she the alpha, he would have to take her potato-peeling nitpicking into stride, as this is her domain. 

Amanda Hesser Points Accusatory Rolling Pin at Michelle Obama, Needs to Take Big Step Back

A lot has been made of Michelle Obama's organic vegetable garden at the White House.  Big-eyed, righteous foodies are all a-twitter about how the Obamas will usher in a new era of enlightened eating, eager to use the first family as a springboard for fantastic, hazily-formed food ethics.

So when I read Amanda Hesser's Op-Ed this morning in the NYT, passively cajoling our First Lady to get back in the kitchen, I wasn't overly surprised.  But I was most certainly irritated.

I do agree with the Hesser's basic message; people SHOULD be cooking more--particularly parents--to instill healthier eating habits, manners, family values and culture into themselves and their children.  Absolutely!

But, take a BIG step back...did a cooking blogger, a mega-liberal food columnist from the NYT, just tell our First Lady that she should pretend that she cooks, for the good of our children???

FOR PHUCK'S SAKE.

Do people WANT to be lied to?  How in the HELL can a First Lady (and before that, the wife of a prominent politician) be expected to be a domestic goddess? 

On the campaign trail, when Cindy McCain was asked what her favorite recipes were, her asinine interns forged "McCain Family Recipes" right off the Food Network website. Ya know why?  Because beer heiresses don't FN cook. 

Apparently, that's not what liberals OR conservatives want to hear.

I'd much rather hear that Michelle just doesn't have the inclination to cook than be spoon-fed some nonsense about how someone with a 12-hour day MAGICALLY produces a gourmet meal for her two kids and her husband, the President of the United States.

Hesser presents an unrealistic, misguided standard to hold mid-recession American families to.  More than ever, parents are working long hours to put food on the table at all--many of them single parents.  Will you judge them for using packaged greens, and jarred sauces?  Shouldn't you be glad that a meal is being prepared at all, and eaten in concert? 

Do. Not. Politicize. Plate Lunch. DO NOT EFFING POLITICIZE PLATE LUNCH!!!!!!

Lemme preface this rant by saying--I'm glad Obama won.  I am!  I'm absolutely tickled we both grew up in the same place, eating the same food.

I like Obama.

I like plate lunch.

I like that people will get a chance to read about plate lunch.

But why, dear Lord WHY, is the plate lunch being politicized?

It's OVER people!  The man was elected!!! Can we STOP using the man's popularity to push every little thing???  WHY are there journalists scratching their heads, musing that "It all seems like odd fare for a man as bookmark-thin as Mr. Obama, who seems to treasure his treadmill"???

MAYbe it's just as simple as he said: He grew up eating this, and that's why he likes it.  End of story.

When you're in Philly, you get a cheesesteak.

When you're in NYC, you get a pastrami sandwich, a bagel with a schmear, and a proper slice.

When you get drunk in Rochester, NY, you get a Garbage Plate.

And when you're in Hawaii, you get a plate lunch, every time you can.

Heavy Lifting: McCain "Family" Recipes Fliched from the Food Network

Ooooh!  Cindy McCain is in trou-ble!

Okay, maybe not so much Cindy McCain as a half-assed intern that did a piss-poor job of plagiarizing recipes, says HuffPo.

About a half dozen recipes, including ones from FoodTV's femme heavyweights Rachel Ray and Giada De Laurentiis, were copied with the barest tweaks and posted on the McCain Campaign Site as (wait for it) "McCain Family Recipes".

HuffPo's side-by-side screen shot comparison of the recipes:

• Ahi Tuna with Napa Cabbage Slaw
• Passion Fruit Mousse
• Farfalle Pasta with Turkey Sausage, Peas and Mushrooms

Ho, lord.  Where do I even BEGIN? 

1. When did people get SO RETARDED at plagiarizing???  Listen all you lazy, innovation-lacking momos out there: It takes VERY LITTLE effort to reword and change a recipe so that you can't be caught for plagiarizing.  Substitutions, bitches!
2. Great-great-Grandma McCain was rich in passion fruit, napa cabbage, ahi tuna and turkey sausage, was she?
3. When do you suspect the wife of the Republican Presidential Candidate was last home, much less cooking?  Why not just post her method for reshingling a roof, or her secret tricks for getting rid of lime stains???

Food Politics: Gimme a Foodie Candidate!

I'm not as politically conscious as some of my closest friends.  It may have had to do with growing up in Hawaii, where political awareness is kind of depressing, as it was clear that national politics had very little to do with anyone's immediate situation in the islands.

Local politicians did little to improve my opinion of government, as the largely Democratic old guard in Hawaii has repeatedly demonstrated itself incapable of actual innovation or positive action of any kind.

Politics, it's all a sh*tshow.  This isn't to say I'm entirely cynical when it comes to people.  I have tremendous faith in the competence and compassion in individuals, which I also believe has to do with growing up in Hawaii, having worked in food service, and loving food the way I do. 

Let me explain.  People rarely fight for things that they aren't directly influenced by, and there are few experiences that are as immediate and direct as eating.  I'm not talking about making the rounds on the good 'ol campaign trail, shaking hands and being photographed eating flapjacks at the obligatory diners and 'cue joints. (Though I do believe that's as close as most politicians get to eating real food.)  I am talking about someone who takes a bite of rib, and takes the time to think, "Hey, this pork tastes just pork ribs used to when I was kid!  I wonder where the kitchen gets its pork from?  I wonder why ALL ribs don't taste like this anymore!"

This tends to be the kind of person I trust.

Anytime anyone becomes divorced from what they put in their body, regardless of occupation, it becomes a problem.  And it's unfortunate that politicians, who actually have the influence to improve foodways and distribution, farm policies, and small businesses that are the heart of food culture, are among the folks most likely to eat as refuelers.

But EF, you shallow sap, how could you think this matters?  With healthcare, war, social security and immigration to worry about, food is the last that politician should worry about!  But here's the thing--food is the heart of everything. 

The Steak Politic

Okay...I think I've held my peace long enough.

It's no surprise that gender-biases are alive and well. But restaurants (and restaurant writing!) are among the few arenas where these societal expectations are as glaringly demonstrable as they are widely accepted. Who would have thought that the mundane act of eating--nay, ordering--would be so loaded and closely observed?

I can accept that most folks will look me over and expect me to order a mimosa, a salad, maybe something involving white-meat chicken.  What I have more difficulty accepting are fanfare, incredulousness, or vague disbelief when I fail to do so.

Then one morning, I open the paper to read that my bone-gnawing choices are "in". "Be Yourselves, Girls, Order the Rib-Eye" cheers the NYT. I no longer have to live a life of shame! Ordering steak is apparently a "declarative statement", and "ordering a salad displays an unappealing mousiness".

Sigh. Be yourselves girls...we're just watching, judging, and designing wussified restaurants around whatever you choose to shove in your craw.

Is it too much to ask that those who want to eat salad can eat salad, and those who love red meat eat meat, without public critique or close reading? Did they HAVE to tether food into the already overwrought process of husband-harpooning? Won't a sudden change of diet come as an unnecessary surprise to whatever man has managed to overcome the hurdles of the first few dates?

Don't worry, lady carnivores aren't off the hook yet. The VP of Smith & Wollensky is "shocked at the number of women actually ordering steak." At a steakhouse, mind you. HIS steakhouse.

It seems funny to bring up menu feminization and marvel at this generation of bloodthirsty, beef-eating women in the same breath.  The NYT isn't the only one pulling this trick: the Telegraph called women the "new steakhouse demographic" on one page and THEN told the story of feather-clad Lillie Langtry suing for her right to eat mutton in 1905 on the next page.

Whose idea was it to make women steak-eaters circus freaks? Who benefits from this perception, except maybe men who are hording the ethanol-curtailed prime beef stocks for themselves?